When all the abuse is one sided and a person finally takes a stand, please do not tell a survivor or victim that you like their abuser. How is that any different then how you felt when you wanted to report the crime to your Commander and they didn’t give a damn. Or maybe you didn’t report because you knew leadership wouldn’t give a damn.
When a victim finally comes forward after months of abuse, we need to embrace them and acknowledge their experiences. Real leaders take a stand and validate when a wrong has been committed. Instead, in this society, we are told that some how the victim must have asked for it. And we all look the other way. No more.
Did working hard for veterans and military justice mean I asked to be a target of small mindedness, pettiness, stalking, and abuse. Why is it that when one finally confronts the truth that anyone would go to someone and say, I know that you think that the abuser has done this or that but I like him. Who says that?
Can you imagine a victim coming to me and me saying, you need to just get along with him? You need to get along with him because this is the military and we have a mission. Now it is we need to get along with him for the movement. Really? Wait until you become a target of these predatorial creatures. When you come to me crying about how he royally screwed you over, I will be sure not to say, we need to all get along.
Asking me to get along with someone who has clearly targeted me and made me the object of their obsession is like asking me to hang out with a rapist on the prowl. Abuse, bullying, lying and manipulating are all traits of rapists and that my friends is unacceptable behavior. The people who abused me in the military called me names too. They also stalked and bullied me.
Why can’t a person have boundaries without being accused of not getting along with jerks. I am not interested in spending my time with people who appear to be entitled, greedy, and mean to others. PTSD is not an excuse to lie, to target others, to act like a fool, or to hold others hostage with threats of suicide.
If you are in the business of blaming victims, you have absolutely no business being an advocate or saying a single word to the person who bravely steps forward. We got this.