Jennifer Norris: Even with 1 out of 3 women facing sexual assault in the military, the Defense Department refuses to hold sexual predators accountable within the military justice system. -The Real News Network (August 8, 2013)
NOOR: One in three–that’s the astounding number of women who have been sexually assaulted in the military, a rate twice as high as civilian numbers. Those are astonishing, especially in light of the fact that only 10 percent of reported incidents go to trial. This harsh reality has put the Defense Department in the hot seat with Congress, pressuring them to make substantive changes. Now Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel is planning a new round of sexual assault policies that include expanding an advocacy program for victims to all military branches and recurring inspector-general audits of all closed investigations. Now joining us to unpack this and respond to this latest news is Jennifer Norris. She has served 15 years in the U.S. Air Force and retired for PTSD due to military sexual trauma. She started working for the Military Rape Crisis Center as a national victim advocate for active duty and veterans in 2011, and she’s testified before Congress to support the passage of the Military Justice Improvement Act and STOP Act. So, Jennifer, you know firsthand what it’s like to deal with being sexually assaulted in the military. Can you share some of your stories? You were drugged and raped by your recruiter and also sexually assaulted by an instructor. Can you describe, as much as, of course, you feel comfortable, what happened in these incidents and the challenges you faced in getting accountability for what happened to you?
NORRIS: Well, I guess you can start out by saying that I was completely naive to what rape or assault or harassment or violence of any kind was. I was a small town girl. I just didn’t get–I didn’t grow up with that kind of stuff. So when I joined the military, it came as quite a surprise to me that I was being randomly targeted by predators who were basically not going to take no for an answer, no matter what. And I was trapped in the situation. And the only way to get out of it was to report. And, of course, we’re too scared to report, because we see what happens to other people that report. And just this past year, it’s been confirmed once again that 62 percent of those folks in the military that don’t report don’t report due to a fear of retaliation, whether it includes losing your career, getting treated like crap, getting isolated from others, whatever it might be. And the reason I’m telling you this is this is what happened to me. I had four different perpetrators approach me within my first two years of service, but I didn’t dare say anything, because I was afraid it would have negative repercussions on my career. But by the fourth predator, who was escalating and becoming more and more abusive–of which I could not escape, because when you’re in the military, you can’t just quit your job; you’ve got to go back to work with these folks the next day, even if he did attempt to rape you the night before, which is exactly what happened to me. And I just got to a point where I said, I can’t do this anymore. I’m either getting out of the military or, you know, something’s got to give. And this whole time, I wasn’t thinking about reporting at all, because I knew if I did that, my career would be over. But in the end I ended up reporting all four of them. And sure enough, I got retaliated against so badly by those in my squadron that I ended up having to transfer to another duty station that was four hours away.
NOOR: One rule under consideration by Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel would be to expand the role that victims have throughout the court-martial process, including the sentencing phase. In a handful of cases that have come under congressional focus, senior commanders have actually overturned convictions of their subordinates. What do you make of this proposal?
NORRIS: At this point, they’ve had since Tailhook to deal with this situation. All this stuff should have been done back in 1992, when they told the American public it would be done by then. And instead we’ve got 2013, and now it’s become an epidemic that’s not only impacted our soldiers, both males and females, but also civilians, children, wives. They’re all–nobody’s immune. Predators do not discriminate. And if you don’t stop them, they only escalate and progress. And there’s been basically no accountability for these predators. As you stated earlier, a 10 percent conviction rate, a lot of that for charges lesser than what they were originally accused for. And where do they go when they leave the military? Your neighborhood. That’s why we’re at where we’re at today. We don’t want to hear what the Department of Defense has to say anymore. I don’t want to hear zero-tolerance one more time. I can’t take it. As a survivor, I cannot take it, based on what I do every day with my clients and see how badly they’re being treated by their command simply because they reported a sexual assault or harassment. There is a hardcore retaliation happening now. There was in the past. Part of the retaliation that I experienced was I got beat by one of the predator’s friends for reporting. These people are scared to come forward. So the DOD has lost their chance. They’ve lost the trust. Now it’s time for someone else to come in, which is why we’re pushing the Military Justice Improvement Act. We no longer want those commanders to be gatekeepers of justice. They’re not professionals. They don’t know how to investigate. Therefore they should not be involved in any of the process, aside from maybe knowing that there’s a predator within their ranks. We want to give the victim confidentiality. We want them to be able to have an impartial person that’s going to decide whether or not they’re going to push forward with a case and how they can do that without beating up the victim in the process. The only way we’re going to be able to clean this mess up is to move forward with prosecutions and get these people jailed. We certainly don’t want to just start kicking them out and tossing them out, ’cause then they’re moving to your neighborhood. The DOD has got to deal with this. And we don’t trust them at this point, hence the reason we want the STOP Act, which would provide the civilian oversight to hold them accountable on every single move they make when it comes to trying to discharge a soldier or punish one, because we’ve basically been dealing with (A) you’re all of a sudden a bad person if you reported a sexual assault, and then the retaliation begins, and eventually you can lose your career. They’re going to use, like, some mental diagnosis to get rid of you with, right, saying it’s a pre-existing condition, when in fact it wasn’t; it’s PTSD from getting gang raped. Right? We want them to be held accountable to someone when they make these decisions, just decide for themselves that, oh, well, I’ll just get rid of her ’cause I don’t feel like dealing with this, or I’ll just get rid of him because, you know, if I have a rape under my command it’s going to make me look bad. We want to yank these commanders out of this situation and give real justice to the victims and caring.
NOOR: And as you stated, changes to this policy action has been promised for a very long time now. What do you account for these delays? And talk–and so far the White House has been silent. Can you respond to the White House and just the delays that have been going on for years now?
NORRIS: Well, first of all, it’s pretty upsetting as a survivor to know that they knew about this in ’92. And don’t tell me they didn’t have enough money to be able to get experts to tell them that predators, there’s few and far between, but they can do lots and lots of damage if not stopped. Well, now, because they haven’t stopped them, they’re now in our higher-ranking positions like Colonels, like commanders, like SARC coordinators, because they never were held accountable. And so they’ve let it spin out of control like this now. And we’re saying, you’ve had your chance. It’s too late. We need to take care of this, because it’s basically at a point where if these guys just decide, oh, well, we’ll just toss them out as we find out about this stuff, they’re just basically pushing it off to the civilian sector. So Obama not standing up right now, it’s upsetting, because him of all people should know that, you know, if you just toss people out of the military because you don’t want to deal with them, it just becomes someone else’s problem. And so we’re basically–everywhere this predator goes, they’re causing a path of destruction. That’s costing everybody more money, because the people to begin with that should have dealt with it didn’t. We need to go back. We need to find out who was raped, when, by who. And we’ll probably find that these same predators have multiple victims across branches. And then we could possibly move forward with one case against one predator with, you know, ten victims, for example. And I don’t understand why people aren’t talking about this, why they’re not saying, why Obama isn’t saying, I want you to go back and determine who these people are that are being accused. It doesn’t mean they’re automatically guilty. But why can’t we start tracking who’s doing what and when it was done and what the patterns are and start getting these guys so we can move forward with an awesome military?
NOOR: This issue has gained a lot of traction recently, a lot more than it had in the past. You had the documentary The Invisible War that came out. You’ve had hearings in Congress. What more pressure–like, how much more pressure is it going to take to get these changes put in place?
NORRIS: Well, I mean, what it’s going to take is the American people, which is what our country’s all about anyways. So while these guys, while the Department of Defense and Congress are dragging their feet on making these changes, they’re hurting people. Whether they want to admit it or not, they are. And we feel, as survivors, it needs to be dealt with immediately. It needs to be a national emergency where we make sure that everybody is good to go and they’re not trapped under some predator that they can’t escape from, and if they are, that they’re not going to get retaliated against for turning them in. Right? We take it that seriously, that in order–’cause they haven’t done anything since Tailhook. So you go back 25 years and imagine the destruction and amount of damage that’s been done by not holding anyone accountable. They have gotten better and better and better at what they do. And we often see them using alcohol and drugs as their weapons. But then we hear the military saying, oh, well, don’t drink, ’cause you might get raped, or be careful no one puts anything your drink, like it’s somehow the victim’s responsibility to make sure they don’t get raped. We still haven’t even gotten there yet. So the DOD has had their chance. We’ve had it. And, of course, they’re in good with Congress. Some people in Congress, this is how it works. It’s all about the power. And we got shut down by Senator Carl Levin, who has recently promoted three other senators to fight keeping things in the chain of command, which is–basically what they’re saying is, we’re going to keep it in the chain of command even though we know that 62 percent won’t report to this commander because they’re afraid of retaliation. That’s what they’re telling us survivors. And that’s what the American public needs to know. The only way we can get this now is the support of the American public. That’s why we’re out here right now pushing it, trying to get it, and asking people to contact their senators and representatives and ask them to pass the Military Justice Improvement Act, which would remove all violent crimes from the chain of command. And then, once we get that barrier broken down, we’ll start pushing for the civilian oversight that the STOP Act would call for.
NOOR: Jennifer Norris, thank you so much for joining us and sharing that very powerful story.
The California National Guard tried to serve termination papers to one of its members in the hospital just hours after a suicide attempt last month, the Investigative Unit has learned.
Those close to Jessica Brown, a master sergeant with Moffett Field’s 129th Rescue Wing, say they believe the move is retaliation for exposing what has been described as a toxic culture inside the Guard. Last November in front of NBC Bay Area cameras, Brown criticized her leaders for failing to properly handle a sexual assault she says happened to her while on duty in Las Vegas.
“To me, it felt like it would be better if I was dead,” Brown said in the November interview. “I didn’t want to do it, but I couldn’t handle it anymore. I wasn’t sleeping again, and when I did sleep the nightmares were so bad.” -NBC Bay Area
It is with a heavy heart that I sit here today. Because, I am not only speaking for myself but I am speaking for thousands and thousands of male and female survivors, both military and civilian, whose lives have been forever altered by the military’s sexual assault epidemic, a culture that punishes the victim, and a broken military justice system.
Core issues must be addressed. The military justice system elevates an individual’s discretion over the rule of law. The system is encumbered with personal bias, conflicts of interest and abuse of authority. The cycle of repeated scandals, self‐investigations, and ineffective reforms must be broken. Click here for full House Armed Services Committee testimony.
I want to recognize the service members who have not survived due to non‐combat deaths, murder, and suicide and their families who are still waiting for answers. -Jennifer Norris, USAF Retired
Please note the same day of the military sexual assault hearings before the House Armed Services Committee on January 23, 2013, Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta announced the Pentagon was lifting the women in combat ban.
Technical Sergeant Jennifer Norris Testifies Before Congress
Personal Story:
I am older now and I have had a lot of time to reflect back on what happened to me. And it is now evident to me that I am one of many who have experienced the same kind of treatment simply because I reported sexual assault by a fellow, higher-ranking soldier.
I was raised by a father who worked hard as a logger his entire life. He taught me early in my childhood that I was equal with my brothers. I was expected to help prepare the firewood every season, I was expected to help mow the fields, and I was included in any and all activities. I grew up in a small town and never once experienced someone trying to harm me in a violent way or discrimination based solely on my gender. I grew up with a sense of confidence and determination that I could do anything I wanted to with my life. That is the American dream, right?
I learned quickly after joining the USAF that I had stepped into a whole new world, one that eventually made me feel like I was dealing with an underground mob. Shortly after I enlisted, I was invited to a “new recruit” party. I was really excited to attend so that I could meet others who were also going through the excitement and fear of becoming a soldier. Instead I became the victim of a calculating predator who used the “party” as a way to set up his attack. And, as I commonly see in many of the cases in my work as a victim advocate, he used alcohol as his weapon. When he was unable to pressure me to drink, he used whatever means necessary to incapacitate his victim. When I was raped, I was chemically restrained and could not move; yet I knew what was happening to me. In my work as a victim advocate, I frequently saw this same modus operandi.
I didn’t report that crime and here is why. I could not face that it happened. I didn’t want to start out my military career like that and so I determined that I would never talk about it to anyone. From that day forward, I avoided the recruiter at all costs and soldiered on. I have never seen him since.
I had an amazing basic training experience at Lackland. My military training instructor was SSgt Knight and this professional NCO taught me how to be a good follower and he also believed in my leadership skills.
The majority of the people that I served with were amazing, inspiring individuals who truly were dedicated to the mission. But just like me, there are far too many who fall victim to manipulation and abuse of authority by perpetrators who are higher ranking and have more credibility with those who are in charge. We have no choice but to acquiesce when under the leadership of a heavy fisted Chain of Command.
I was assaulted a second time at Keesler Air Force Base after Basic Training by my instructor. I was attending Satellite and Wideband Communications technical school. I was there for 6 months. While there, I learned very quickly that if you reported sexual harassment, assault, or were offended by someone’s lewd and crude remarks that you will be quickly turned out of the Air Force. So, I planned to get through it, go back home and serve with the Maine Air National Guard, where I thought I would be safe. I just sucked it up and kept my mouth shut so I could graduate. I watched an Active Duty Air Force female, who to this day is one of my best friends, get swiftly booted from the military, after she reported that one of her instructor’s made derogatory remarks to her during class. This girl was 19 years old. The military training managers engaged in what appeared to be a witch-hunt and looked for anything and everything to kick her out. In the end, they were successful. Today she suffers severe PTSD from this experience.
A few very significant things happened while I was at Keesler. One of the female airman that I was going to school with admitted that she had sex with her recruiter. This conversation was in the presence of another Maine Air National Guardsman who shared that the same recruiter who raped me had also sexually assaulted his cousin, who as a result did not join the military. When he explained to me how it occurred, my blood began to boil with rage because I recognized the pattern immediately. The recruiter had done the same thing to me and I determined I was going to press charges against him, when I returned home, to stop him from harming anyone else.
The Post Traumatic Stress, which I didn’t realize I had, kicked in to overdrive after learning this information. I wanted to take action. I did an impulsive thing. I called up the recruiter who raped me and told him I was going to press charges against him and that I knew what he had done to another girl as well. He quickly hung up on me. My thinking was maybe just maybe he would be too scared to try this again.
About two weeks before graduation from Keesler, I was performing a maintenance loop on a mobile satellite communications van as part of the testing to move on to the next block. I had it down. I loved my job and everything stuck. For this test, we needed to step inside the enclosed satellite communications maintenance van. The instructor shut the door and stood there with his clipboard behind me while I configured the van. Shortly after starting the task, he came up from behind me, attacked me, pushed me into the wall of the van, rubbed his groin area on my body and whispered in my ear, “let me help you, let me help you.” Those words trigger me to this day.
I got angry, I flipped out and pushed him away and told him not to touch me ever again. He was surprised and didn’t say a word. My fight or flight response had kicked into overdrive and my anxiety was so high that I was shaking while I finished configuring that van and waited for him to give me permission to leave the enclosed van. But, I did it. I passed the test.
Unfortunately, it did not end there. This TSgt told me to stay behind after class. Because I could not disobey a direct order without consequences, I stayed only for him to tell me that he was going to fail me for attitude even though I passed the final test. I immediately broke down and started crying. All I could say is why are you doing this to me? Why? I begged him to reconsider. He told me to report the next morning an hour before the rest of the class and he would reconsider. I did not do as ordered.
Instead of going to school the next morning, I went to the Air National Guard liaison, who I had established a nice relationship with, and I informed her that my instructor wanted to fail me for attitude, despite passing my test. The Guard gave the TSgt. a call. He acquiesced and I was told to report to my next class. While at technical school training at Keesler, I never saw him again. I did not report this crime for a number of reasons. First I witnessed first hand what happens when you report that type of behavior. Second, I was only two weeks away from graduation, and, third, I did not want an investigation launched and risk being stuck on that base with that predator. Lastly, I did not want to be stigmatized as a female who alleges sexual assault before I had even entered the operational Air Force. These fears and attitudes exist to this very day.
When I got back to the Maine Air National Guard, the recruiter was gone. He had quit his full time AGR position, which rarely happens in the National Guard. He was a MSgt and he effectively gave up his career and his retirement. He moved to North Carolina. I was so relieved that he was gone. Again, I did not report because I knew I could potentially lose my career. I let myself become excited about starting my new career. I planned on staying in for 20 plus years and despite being raped and assaulted in the first year of my career, I loved being in the military, I loved my job, and I loved being a part of a family and a team.
I thought I would be safe at the Maine Air National Guard. The Commander put me to work as soon as I got back from Technical School to help me transition back into civilian life and I totally excelled and became a superior performer. As a result, unbeknownst to me my Commander asked my NCOIC to coordinate hiring me as temporary federal technician. My NCOIC notified me and began the hiring process. I was ecstatic beyond belief and made the most money I had ever made for doing a job I loved!
Shortly after beginning my job, I noticed that the Maintenance Superintendent, also my NCOIC, and boss began treating me differently than the guys. It made me feel uncomfortable, because I didn’t want the guys I worked with to be resentful. But, I also knew that I was a great troop, so I ate up all the extra responsibility that was assigned thinking he must recognize that I am a true leader. No, that was not the case at all. Eerily similar to the recruiter, my NCOIC was beginning to set up his attacks. He began assigning me jobs that would isolate me so that he could make his move. He would give me the assignment, then show up unexpectedly to “check in on me,” but instead forced himself on me every chance he got. I could not escape. The abuse escalated over time and he became more abusive the more I resisted and told him NO. His attitude was that I should be flattered that he wanted me. I was in pain. I was there to do a job, to serve my country, why must I deal with this?
The more I fought him off and begged him to stop, the more he would escalate. He regularly forced himself on me, but when I fought back, he called me names and belittled me. He would tell me that my breasts were too small and tell me that it would be in my best interest. I was too scared to report this behavior because he was the Commander’s right hand man. And in the military, rank does come with its privileges including the higher rank you are the more credibility you have with the Commander. After what happened with the recruiter and the technical school instructor, I was already fearful of rank and abuse of authority.
Meanwhile, while my NCOIC was sexually assaulting me and abusing me during the week, there was another National Guardsman, who was considered a weekend warrior, doing the same exact thing to me. I did my best to stay clear of both but they would sneak up on me when I was least expecting it. It was like it became a sick game for them. To this day, I cannot handle anyone coming up behind me or hovering near me. I watched both of them escalate while I felt powerless to do anything about it, if I wanted to save my career. After a while, they did it in front of people as well and nobody said or did anything. Why would bystanders put their career at risk for me? I felt totally isolated.
One night when my NCOIC attempted to rape me in a drunken rage, I started screaming and someone heard me. I escaped but I fell apart. I turned into an emotionless robot. I continued to do a good job but I was dying inside. My attitude began to suffer. I was looking for a way out. One day, one of the professional NCOs in our squadron approached me and said he was concerned about me. I had just received an award for Superior Performer during an Operational Readiness Exercise, but I wanted to get out and he wanted to know why. All it took was that one person showing genuine concern and care for the floodgates to open.
I immediately started crying and opened up to him forgetting that by military law, he was supposed to report any crimes that he became aware of. I begged him not to report because I was afraid that it would end my career. He told me if I did not report that he would. I then reported all four of the perpetrators to my Commander.
The Commander initially doubted me. It was not until after I provided him with proof that he raised from a seated position in anger and screamed with powerful emotion, “he betrayed me.” The Commander then told me he had instructed my NCOIC to hire me because of my excellent work performance. We discussed the recruiter and he admitted he was confused why the recruiter suddenly gave up his career and retirement, but it all made sense to him now. All of these predators appeared to be stellar troops. All of them had histories of sexually assaulting others.
In many ways, I am one of the lucky ones, which is sad to say. My Commander believed me. He did the best he could to handle the case against my NCOIC and the National Guardsman given the complexities involved. He strove to be fair, neutral, and impartial. I was forced to leave the Squadron if I wanted to be safe, while he conducted the investigation. Because he could only investigate on Guard weekends, the case got dragged out for months. While I was isolated at Headquarters, the two predators were able to stay and inject their version of how things went down. They had all that time to convince many in the squadron that I was the bad guy. After they admitted guilt the day prior to the administrative hearing, they were both forced to leave my squadron and I was allowed to return.
Sounds like a success story right? Wrong. My Commander deemed the crimes sexual assault. When the crimes were reported to the Adjutant General for the state, it somehow became sexual harassment. Our only recourse was to file an EEO complaint. I filed the complaints against two of the four perpetrators, because we didn’t have jurisdiction over the Active Duty Air Force Technical School Instructor and the Recruiter had skipped town. I had no one assisting me.
I was contacted by one of the perpetrator’s lawyers both on the phone and in writing. I never responded. While waiting for the investigation to conclude, I was physically attacked by a friend of one of the perpetrator’s. I pressed charges but unfortunately the civilian authorities did not pursue the case. I told my Commander and he said there was nothing he could do because it happened off base. The day before I was to go to the Administrative Hearings for the “trial” of my NCOIC and the National Guardsman both of them copped a plea. They agreed to the punishments that the Commander recommended. The Commander told me they were willing to plead guilty. He asked if I was okay with it so he could proceed with removing them from the Squadron. I was so tired and beat down by this point that I just wanted it to be over. I wanted to go back to work and resume the career that I loved. When I agreed to the terms of the punishment it caused the EEO complaint to be withdrawn. Therefore, the Maine Air National Guard either didn’t have to report the crimes at all to the Pentagon or they could report the crimes as sexual harassment.
The punishment imposed by the Commander was that both perpetrators were permitted to agree to resign in lieu of Administrative Hearings, which would have become a matter of public record. I wasn’t offered the chance to proceed with a court martial. I was glad they were gone, but the reason I pressed charges was to prevent any other woman from having to go through this. My efforts were futile. I was told that because my NCOIC had over 18 years of service that he was allowed to stay in the military until he reached his twenty years. When he reached his twenty, he would be forced out. No sex offender record, nothing. Because we didn’t have as much evidence against the other perpetrator, the National Guardsman, he was kicked out of the Maine Air National Guard and given a Letter of Reprimand (LOR). He was discharged honorably; he joined the New Hampshire Air National Guard. Ironically, the last time I saw him he was in charge of a training conference I was attending and he was a MSgt working at the Pentagon. Both of these perpetrators retired with full military benefits. Meanwhile, I was retaliated against by the enlisted Chain of Command.
In 2006, the NCO in the Maine Air National Guard, who had me physically beat, was found guilty of manslaughter and leaving the scene of an accident in another case. But because he had a top-secret security clearance he somehow got off. And as I went back to my squadron, I had to work with this man. I tried to pull myself together and continue with my career, but instead I was met with resistance from almost everyone I encountered. I was the bad guy, because I made the predators lose their jobs. As a cruel joke, men literally hugged the wall as I passed by pretending I might falsely accuse them of assault. I was treated like a leper. I was pulled from leadership positions. I was denied training I needed to become eligible for my SSgt stripe. I continually asked to complete my training and was called a spoiled brat, by the Officer in Charge. And I was assigned menial tasks that isolated me. By this time, the Commander who investigated the case had been promoted to Headquarters and a new Commander was in charge. He depended heavily on the enlisted chain of command and was willing to sell me out for the mission.
I felt like an outcast and people did not hide their disdain for me. I had no more fight left in me. I didn’t want to give up my career, so I transferred to the Massachusetts Air National Guard, which was a four-hour drive one way. It was the only way to continue my career progression and promotions. I needed to remain in the same career field, at least until I was a TSgt.
I went from one snake pit to another. My old squadron called up my new squadron and informed them that I was a “troublemaker.” A person, in my enlisted chain of command, shared this with me when I asked why everyone in my Chain of Command was treating me so badly. I was met with resistance from the get go, despite the fact that I was a super troop and worked very hard at my job. While serving at the Massachusetts Air National Guard, I experienced gender discrimination. I was held to double standards. If others came in late, it was no big deal. If I came in one minute late, I was getting hauled into an office for a big meeting with 3 or 4 people. My new Commander recognized my skills and considered me a subject matter expert. He even hired me during the week to help keep things running smoothly because of the multiple deployments the squadron endured after 9/11. I helped keep things running smoothly back home and continued to train all the new airmen that came into the squadron. We had a lot of folks leave after their first deployment and the only ones left were the ones who wanted to be there. As a result, we got a lot of new airman.
My new squadron Commander recognized that I was a superior performer and promoted me to SSgt shortly after transferring to that base. The Maine Air National Guard would not give me my SSgt stripe claiming that I lacked leadership skills, despite the fact that I was an Airman Leadership School instructor, not only met the standards but exceeded them, including going to Airman Leadership School in person, unlike a lot of National Guardsman. And, I had to fight the Massachusetts Air National Guard for my TSgt stripe despite the fact that I had not only met the standards but also far exceeded them. I had become a very effective satellite communications trainer and had a record set up time. The straw that broke the camel’s back was the day that my NCOIC told me that he was going to make one of the Airman that I trained the Team Chief. I had 8 years in the field, while this airman had only two. I demanded to see the First Shirt regarding this issue because I didn’t want to turn this into an EEO issue.
My Chain of Command eventually acquiesced and gave me my TSgt stripe and the Team Chief position. I was the most qualified to do the job. But, this job came with big consequences. Instead of supporting me in my position, I was overworked, blamed for things out of my control, and not respected. I was left with no support or direction so I had to come in during the week and teach myself. After teaching myself, I would then create standard operating procedures to help train my troops. I always trained myself out of a job because I took serving seriously. If anything was to happen to me, I needed to have people that could seamlessly pick up where I left off.
After months of setting me up to fail they threatened to pull my TSgt stripe from me as a punishment for “substandard performance.” They had been planning it for quite some time because by this time, they had the Commander on their side and I didn’t stand a chance. As a result, I filed an EEO complaint against my NCOIC for gender discrimination. I chose to report informally because I had been through a formal reporting process before. I did not have the energy.
My Commander conducted his investigation and determined that my allegations could not be substantiated, but in the same breath told me that I could have anything I wanted. All I wanted was to go to my planned NCO Academy School and be transferred out of that squadron. I also no longer wanted to work for my abusive and belittling boss and refused to return back to satellite communications. Again, not a huge victory but at least I was able to escape that horribly oppressive environment. By this time in my career, I was beginning to unravel and feel completely ready to break. I decided to transfer back to the Maine Air National Guard and this time I chose a critical career field where women might be treated a little better than in the maintenance field. My boss was promoted to SMSgt shortly after.
I met my husband at Keesler while attending another training school in 2001. We finally made the commitment to one another in 2005 even though I realized I was severely damaged by the rape, sexual harassment, sexual assault, abuse, retaliation, and gender discrimination. Love is the only thing that pulled me through this relationship, because I was literally incapable of having interpersonal relationships. I was hardened, damaged, hyper vigilant, and defensive.
Because of him, I reached out to the VA when I found out that they finally were treating Military Sexual Trauma. I have been getting counseling and treatment at the VA since 2006. As a result of getting that help, I was forced to list on my security clearance form that I was receiving counseling for military sexual trauma. The security clearance folks wanted a release of information signed so they could gain access to my medical records from the VA. I signed them, out of fear. But, then called the VA and revoked it, essentially ending my career. I did not want to jeopardize my future career opportunities because I had been labeled and diagnosed with PTSD from military sexual assault.
After being medically retired from the Air Force for PTSD due to MST, I felt like a fish out of water. I had no purpose in life. I was taking a ton of prescription medications, to help me feel less angry, depressed, and help me live without constant anxiety and fear. I felt like I had lost my life’s dream and there was no reason to live anymore. I came very close to ending my own life, because I felt broken, damaged, and unsure of myself. I literally felt like I was invisible and what I thought or felt did not matter. I wanted to die because I basically got fired for being raped.
Working with veterans and active duty personnel who are victims of military sexual assault, I came to recognize that I had been shamed into silence. My fellow veterans helped me find my voice again.
If anyone ever tells you that women are the weaker sex, don’t you believe it.
Georgia Army National Guard Spc. Miranda Nichols, 28, was shot and killed outside of her mother’s home in Vidalia, Georgia two days after Thanksgiving on November 24, 2012. It is believed that her boyfriend of six months Army Spc. Samuel Tellu shot Miranda in an apparent domestic dispute. After Tellu shot Miranda, he jumped in his vehicle and took off. Tellu was later found in his vehicle with a fatal gunshot wound to his head. Tellu was assigned to the 3rd Combat Aviation Brigade, 3rd ID, as a petroleum specialist. Nichols served in the 3rd ID and the Georgia Army National Guard. They had both deployed overseas. The Fort Stewart Criminal Investigation Division (CID) informed the public they were assisting local authorities with the apparent murder-suicide investigation.
72% of all murder-suicides involve an intimate partner
94% of the victims of these murder suicides are female
Whistleblowers expose hidden culture inside the California National Guard
Behind the Gates of the Guard
‘The California National Guard has a long history of serving the country in critical times of need. Its members have fought wildfires, responded to Hurricane Katrina and recently assisted with rescue efforts in super storm Sandy. It is a reserve military force of 23,000 guard members—the largest in the nation—where “integrity first” is a guiding principle. But a joint-investigation by NBC Bay Area and KNBC-TV in Los Angeles has uncovered a disturbing hidden culture in the California National Guard where some guard members say sexual assault and racism at times go unchecked, and where retaliation is a frequent method of discipline. During the past six months reporters spoke with nearly two dozen men and women from the California Guard who have found no solution inside and now want to expose what they say is the truth.”
Army SSG Jessica Wing, 42, died of a non combat related incident in Kuwait City, Kuwait on August 27, 2012. SSG Jessica Wing was supporting Operation Enduring Freedom on behalf of the 1st Battalion, 126th Aviation Regiment, Maine Army National Guard in Bangor, Maine.
“The tags belonged to Staff Sgt. Jessica Wing, 42, who took her own life on Aug. 27, 2012, in Kuwait while serving with the 126th Aviation Medevac Unit, based in Bangor. It was her sixth deployment. With 23 years of military duty, she spent nearly all of her adult years in uniform.” -Bangor Daily News
Noah Pippin, U.S. Marine Corps, California Army National Guard
On September 11, 2010, the California National Guard called the parents of Noah Pippin, 31, to ask where he was because he didn’t show up for military duty and that wasn’t like him. Nonetheless, Noah was listed as Absent Without Leave (AWOL). It was this phone call that would set off a series of events for the family of Noah Pippin who also knew that he wouldn’t normally shirk his responsibilities but they were concerned about him. Noah’s parents knew that he once served in the Marines and deployed to Iraq three times. To them, he seemed troubled, preoccupied and depressed the last time they saw him. They wondered if he committed suicide. The family began to trace his steps. Noah left Michigan on August 25, 2010 in a cab to go to the airport to get a rental car. In October 2010, the family remembered they had a picture of the cab and the number. They called the cab company and it was confirmed that Noah did go to airport and rented a car. Records indicate that Noah drove to Kalispell, Montana. The family questioned why Montana instead of California and wondered what happened to him.
At his family’s insistence, Noah visited with them for a week in Traverse, Michigan prior to his deployment with the National Guard to Afghanistan. Noah drove from California to Michigan with a U-haul full of his belongings so he could store them while he was deployed. He had abruptly quit his job 3 months earlier at the Los Angeles Police Department where he had been working for a year a half as a police officer. He decided the job was not working out so he left the position and volunteered to go back on active duty with the Army. Noah volunteered to go on a 13 month deployment to Afghanistan. Noah became a police officer after getting out of the US Marine Corps so when he became disillusioned about the job, he went back to what felt comfortable. Noah got rid of his apartment in California and then when he got to Michigan, he started giving away everything he owned. Noah’s parents questioned his decision to give away all his belongings and told him he could store some of his stuff in their basement. They also knew he deployed to Iraq 3 times and as a result of their observations asked him about his mental health. But he assured them he was okay.
Noah’s parents were already concerned about suicide and worried when Noah didn’t show up for his National Guard duty. They contacted police on September 24, 2010. Initially it appeared the police didn’t share their same concerns about Noah and even made assumptions about his AWOL status as if he was a malingerer. But after the family shared the information they had confirmed with the cab company, the police began to take notice. The police investigated and learned from cell phone records that Noah called a taxi in Hungry Horse but the taxi didn’t know where he went to. On August 31, 2010, all activity stopped on Noah’s cell phone. The family and police wondered if Noah stopped in Montana to do some hiking as a form of rest and relaxation before he was deployed. Credit card activity showed that Noah checked into a hotel on August 28, 2010 and stayed for two nights. Aside from credit card activity at local stores for supplies and a couple restaurants for meals, there was no more activity on his cell phone and credit card and it appears that Noah Pippin disappeared on August 31, 2010. Noah’s dad couldn’t help but wonder if he went to Montana to die. Where Noah went after he left the hotel in Hungry Horse remained a mystery for two years.
In December 2010, the family felt like Noah was probably was dead. His mom continued to send messages to his e-mail but he never responded. Then Noah’s brothers reminded their parents that some of Noah’s stuff was in the basement. The brothers suggested they go through his belongings to see if there were any clues to his disappearance. Noah’s parents admitted it was hard to go through his stuff but they began the process and found a notebook that contained detailed directions to a place called Blue lakes which was south of Glacier National Park in Montana. They also found a list of supplies one would take on a wilderness trek. It appeared that Noah planned on going to Glacier National Park but didn’t mention it to his family. After learning this information, they couldn’t help but assume Noah went there to clear his head. Now the concern was why didn’t he show up for military duty and why haven’t they heard from him. The hotel in Hungry Horse called a month later and informed the police they found some of Noah’s property in the lost and found. This property included cell phone and computer chargers but the cell phone and computer were not present. At this point police thought maybe Noah was a victim of robbery and foul play, maybe even a homicide victim.
The police needed an eye witness who may have seen Noah. In February 2011, the family shared developments in the case with the media while the police contacted the Forest Service. The police talked to people who occupied cabins in the area but no one had seen him. Some witnesses thought they saw Noah walking on the road but couldn’t confirm it was him. At this time, police had no more leads to follow and they all had to wait for the snow to melt before they could begin searching for him. In June 2012, Noah’s parents went to the Blue Lakes to look for him. They noted that they were pleased Noah’s last known location was in such a beautiful place. Eventually witnesses contacted the family to share that Noah showed up to their camping spot. They provided details that he talked about being in the military and deploying to Iraq, therefore he was positively identified. It appears that Noah followed through with his plans to hike to the Blue Lakes and then he headed to the Bob Marshall Wilderness. Noah’s parents were relieved to know he was alive two weeks after his cellphone activity stopped. But now it appears Noah deliberately didn’t go back to active duty with the National Guard. Shirking his responsibilities was not like Noah so why would he go AWOL?
It was September 15, 2010 when the witnesses ran into Noah while they were setting up their camp. They said it appeared that he only had a day pack which wasn’t the norm for someone so far back in the wilderness. Noah said he was going to hike along the Chinese Wall where there was no trail. The family offered Noah dinner and to put him up for the night but he declined and insisted on continuing on his hike. The next day, the weather pattern changed and the family sensed a snow storm was on the way so they left immediately and got caught in blizzard like conditions on the way out. The family thought if Noah got caught up in these conditions, it could be dangerous. A ranger also contacted the family and confirmed that he witnessed Noah sleeping on the trail on September 15, 2010 and it appeared he was heading towards the Chinese Wall. The ranger observed Noah wasn’t equipped for the trip too. Everyone acknowledged that a two day’s hike from civilization could be very dangerous in winter conditions. It was hard to anticipate what could happen in the mountains in blizzard like conditions and the outlook was bleak. Police began a recovery mission after learning this information and a helicopter search team looked for him in August 2011 but he was not spotted. The inconclusive search gave the family hope but they wanted closure.
UPDATE: On August 24, 2012, Noah Pippin’s body was recovered and reports indicate that Noah died from exposure. Noah Pippin froze to death in the Bob Marshall Wilderness.
Investigation Discovery:
Former Marine Noah Pippin is reported missing after failing to appear at drill. -A Soldier’s Story, Disappeared (November 21, 2011)
ID Go: In August 2010, 31-year-old ex-marine Noah Pippin left Michigan to report to the California National Guard. But Noah never shows up. Police trace his path to the forests of Montana, leaving Noah’s parents to wonder why he is venturing into the wild. -A Soldier’s Story, Disappeared (S5,E8)
Editor’s note: With a cable subscription, you can download the free ID Go app and watch all of the Investigation Discovery programming at your convenience. And for those who do not have cable, you can watch “unlocked” episodes on the ID Go app including the latest premieres. Download the ID Go app and binge away. For those who prefer commercial free programming during your binge session, Prime Video has an ID channel: ‘True Crime Files by Investigation Discovery” available for $2.99 a month. It’s a compilation of older seasons but totally worth the cost if you are a true crime addict.
Former Marine Noah Pippin is reported missing after failing to appear at drill. -A Soldier’s Story, Disappeared (November 21, 2011)
ID Go: In August 2010, 31-year-old ex-marine Noah Pippin left Michigan to report to the California National Guard. But Noah never shows up. Police trace his path to the forests of Montana, leaving Noah’s parents to wonder why he is venturing into the wild. -A Soldier’s Story, Disappeared (S5,E8)
Editor’s note: With a cable subscription, you can download the free ID Go app and watch all of the Investigation Discovery programming at your convenience. And for those who do not have cable, you can watch “unlocked” episodes on the ID Go app including the latest premieres. Download the ID Go app and binge away. For those who prefer commercial free programming during your binge session, Prime Video has an ID channel: ‘True Crime Files by Investigation Discovery” available for $2.99 a month. It’s a compilation of older seasons but totally worth the cost if you are a true crime addict.
Preview: Teresa Michelle Lewis used sex for currency to get what she wanted. -To Love and To Murder, Deadly Women (S5,E5)
Marriage is a lifelong commitment of love, and wedding vows. ‘To have and to hold; for better, for worse; until death do us part’. But for these monstrous wives, it was only the vow of ‘death do us part’ they upheld. -To Love and To Murder, Deadly Women (S5,E5)
While mourning the death of his wife, Julian falls hard for his much-younger coworker Teresa. For a time, her spunk lifts him out of to his sorrows until a sordid affair plunges him even deeper into the abyss. -Second Chance at Death, Fatal Vows (S5,E1)
Editor’s note: With a cable subscription, you can download the free ID Go app and watch Investigation Discovery programming at your convenience. And for those who do not have cable, you can watch “unlocked” episodes on the ID Go app including the latest premieres. For those who prefer commercial free programming during your binge session, Prime Video has an ID channel: ‘True Crime Files by Investigation Discovery” available for $3.99 a month. It’s a compilation of older seasons but totally worth the cost if you are a true crime addict. Download the ID Go app or purchase ID True Crime Files & binge away.
Army National Guard spouse Bethany Decker, 21, disappeared on January 29, 2011. Her last known location was in Ashburn, Virginia where she was living alone while her husband was deployed overseas. Bethany was pregnant when she went missing. Her husband Emile Decker was questioned in the disappearance but cooperated and was quickly ruled out early in the investigation. Emile was very concerned when Bethany didn’t show up to the airport to see him off before he left to go to Afghanistan for months. Police learned that the last person to see Bethany Decker alive was Ronald Roldan. Roldan is a person of interest in the disappearance of Bethany but he has not been formally charged. If you or anyone you know has any information about Bethany Decker’s disappearance, please call the Loudoun County Sheriff’s Office at 703-777-0445.
21-year-old Bethany Decker is a hard-working student, waitress, mother, and wife of a National Guardsman serving in Afghanistan. When she vanishes while pregnant with her second child, police discover her life was more complicated than anyone realized. -Investigation Discovery
Behind the Gates of the Guard
MILITARY JUSTICE FOR ALL 