Tag: MRCC

Rape Crisis Center “Director” Games System by Getting Veteran Detained for Suicide Intervention

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Veterans Crisis Line

Update: The “Director” is threatening veteran with legal action for telling the truth.

This story is the epitome of unhealthy in the MST community. This “veteran advocate” committed the ultimate betrayal and proved that she is not healthy enough to help other veterans in crisis. If you reach out to this advocate feeling suicidal, she will send you an e-mail referring you to the Veterans Crisis Line then contact the police instead of helping the veteran work through the crisis. Once the police are contacted, they will come to your home, force you outside, make you get in the police cruiser, and take you to the hospital so you can get evaluated. Not only is this harmful to MST survivors but it is a very inappropriate response to a veteran who may be reaching out for help.

If a veteran tells you that they are feeling suicidal or even hints to feeling suicidal, please do not ever call the police without checking with the veteran first, or referring them to the Veteran Crisis Hotline (1-800-273-TALK). Once you contact the police, the protocol is for the police to take the veteran to the hospital. This is not always the best response and can actually make things worse for a MST survivor. Why? Because you lose your freedom of movement. Taking control away from a MST survivor is the worst possible thing a person could do, especially when the original trigger of the PTSD was due to betrayal, losing control, & feeling overwhelmed.

Once the police are contacted, the veteran must go with them in the back of the cruiser (locked up), must go to the hospital to be evaluated (loss of movement), must take off all of their clothes (in case you hang yourself with your jacket), has to surrender their phone (you might beat yourself with the phone?), and then has to wait for others to determine whether or not you are suicidal. But before they make the decision, you have to answer hundreds of questions that brings up all the things that gave you PTSD to explain why the veteran is responding in said fashion. Having feelings of suicide is completely different then someone who is going to commit suicide. If I was going to commit suicide, I would not tell anyone that I was going to do it, I would just do it.

This “veteran advocate” acted irresponsible when she automatically contacted the police without checking in with the veteran first, or checking with others like friends and family as to the state of mind of said veteran. She actually made the PTSD worse by pulling this move. Not only is she harmful to other veterans but she is vindictive. Please steer clear of this person. Of course the veteran was released from the hospital with no incident because the professionals understood the vindictive nature of this advocate’s response to a veteran in crisis. As a matter of fact, they recognized that because she ignored the veteran then sicced the cops on them that she was in fact the cause of the original trigger.

Kudos to the local police department for treating the veteran with kindness, empathy, and understanding (this time). The police department was simply following protocol because they don’t know if the veteran is suicidal or not. They must take every precaution to ensure that the veteran is safe given the high suicide rates among veterans. Despite the trigger of being detained, the veteran submitted to the procedure and explained what caused the initial PTSD crisis. Luckily, the officers who responded to the call were true professionals and very understanding of why the veteran was upset with this particular person.

The only positive that comes from this situation is that the veteran learned of some local resources available to them year round. So now the veteran has both the Department of Veteran Affairs to turn to and a local crisis center. The veteran can contact this local agency in the future and they will come to the home and do an assessment and help you work through the downward spirals of PTSD that do make you feel suicidal. Suicide is not the answer. It is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. But it is completely normal when one has PTSD to feel suicidal and want to die just so the pain will end.

It’s Against Our Policy

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How many jobs have I worked at where “It’s Against our Policy” ended it all. The ironic thing: nothing is ever in writing, standards have not been set (or the boss can do whatever but control you), and once you agree to volunteer, you lose your freedom of speech. Never mind the abuse and bullying that you are trying to address on your own because everybody wants to look the other way and say ‘It’s none of my business’. Shall we wait until someone has committed suicide simply because they can’t take it anymore?

Every time I have blown the whistle on the inner dynamics of a job, an organization, and now a movement, I have been the one who was punished for speaking out. What organization can truly represent veterans yet tell their volunteers that they must endure bullying and stalking as part of the job. If you haven’t noticed yet, we are fighting bullying and stalking for a living. We fight for that for our clients. Yet, as advocates, we are not allowed to address those who are treading on us? That is an organization that I do not want to work for.

I have a lot to give any organization but enduring abuse, bullying, and control tactics is not one of them. I am free to choose my path to happiness.  And if that includes getting rid of one more person who uses PTSD as an excuse to abuse others, then see ya. I am going to be happy. I am going to succeed regardless of what you use to control me and punish me with. It’s called karma.

You are no different than military leadership. You claim to be a veteran’s advocate yet sell out someone who has been totally loyal to you. You suspend an e-mail account before even talking to the volunteer. How is that justice? Isn’t that what the military did to you? Don’t we want to provide ourselves and clients with the very rights that everyone deserves. Is this the rape crisis center’s policy?

Any agency that proclaims to stand for justice needs to have those same standards for the people who volunteer for them. Where is the appreciation for what the volunteer has done? This is how you show thanks to those who volunteer for your agency? Who complained about me? Was it one of the bullies I am holding accountable for their behavior? How convenient. Once again, someone cowering to the abuse. Never mind the impact this has on veterans or active duty troops.

I think I know why you wanted me to not talk about the bullying from these fools now. You are just as bad as they are. You are a bully too. You did the same thing to me with your bully crew too.  Not only was I dealing with you and your bullies but I was dealing with MST ‘Facebook Advocate’ bullies that hate you. Now, I am smack dab in the middle of your freaking mess.  Thanks for selling me out. Everything happens for a reason.

I can’t believe someone who has been so mean to others would even question what I am doing to hold the same people that bullied them accountable. All along I have been asked to just ignore and the behavior has only escalated. Now that I finally hold them accountable, I get punished. That is the epitome of betrayal. But, I have also seen how awful you have been to some survivors which may be the reason that so many hate you, hence now hate me.

I don’t know what the hell is going on with you people but you can count me out of your sick little games. I will be so much happier not having to deal with you making mountains out of mole hills when we have much bigger things to focus on. Nothing can stop me from advocating for veterans just like nothing can stop you. I have freedom of speech and freedom to do what I want as long as it doesn’t infringe on other’s rights.

Drug Facilitated Sexual Assaults in the Military

On By AdministratorIn Felony Crime, Military Policy, Sexual AssaultLeave a comment

AlcoholTime to learn more about drug facilitated sexual assaults since they seem to be so prevalent in the US military. Not only did I personally go through this kind of chemical restraint as a new recruit in the Air National Guard but in my work as a victim advocate, I have seen the same modus operandi used over and over by enemies within the ranks.  These very skilled perpetrators are using alcohol and illegal drugs to create an opportunity or carry out a premeditated plan to take control of their victim.  As a result of going through the experience of being drugged, I can tell you that because I never thought I would be a victim of a crime like this, I had a hard time accepting that it happened. I was stunned that someone was able to overpower me either physically or through the use of illicit drugs. I never imagined that others would use a drug or alcohol as a weapon to facilitate the crime. It is an insidious form of violence and it’s time to call it what it actually is: Drug Facilitated Sexual Assaults.

Drug facilitated assault: when drugs or alcohol are used to compromise an individual’s ability to consent to sexual activity. In addition, drugs and alcohol are often used in order to minimize the resistance and memory of the victim of a sexual assault.

According to RAINN, “Alcohol remains the most commonly used chemical in crimes of sexual assault, but there are also substances being used by perpetrators including: Rohypnol, GHB, GBL, etc.” Perpetrators will often groom the victim so that they can set up the environment to use the alcohol or drugs to incapacitate their victims.  Grooming involves the process of attempting to set up or stage individuals for sexual abuse by using a variety of methods to promote trust. Offenders who are strangers to the survivor as well as offenders who are family or known to the survivor will use grooming behaviors. Grooming will often build trust between offenders and other people (the survivor, caretakers of the survivor, etc.) to break down defenses, and give offenders easier access to others (Help in Healing, A Training Guide for Advocates).

Diminished capacity exists when an individual does not have the capacity to consent. Reasons for this inability to consent include, but are not limited to: sleeping, drugged, passed out, unconscious, mentally incapacitated, etc. It is important to understand diminished capacity because oftentimes victims of sexual assault in these situations blame themselves because they drank, did drugs, etc. It is essential to emphasize that it is not his or her fault, that the aggressor is the one who took advantage of his or her diminished capacity. Some of the drugs used to facilitate the drug induced sexual assault include Rohypnol, GHB, GBL, Benzodiazepines, Ketamine, and Ecstasy. (RAINN.org)

Example of Predator in Action: Air National Guard Recruiter Rapes New Recruit

As we learn more about the modus operandi of predators, we learn that not only do they groom their victims and use alcohol and drugs to incapacitate them, but they also have behaviors that are specific to sex offenders (Salter, 1995):

  • Attitudes of ownership and entitlement
  • Engaging in anti-social behavior
  • Engaging in other criminal, possible non-sexual crimes
  • Isolating others, particularly women
  • Failure to consider injury to others

As a result of losing that control, I no longer trust the bar environments, drinking with others, or drinking and losing control in any fashion. But for those of you who do want to go out and have fun, here are some safety tips for safe drinking from RAINN.

  1. Don’t leave your drink unattended while talking, dancing, using the ladie’s room, or making a phone call.
  2. At parties, don’t drink from punch bowls or other large, common open containers.
  3. If someone offers to get you a drink from the bar at the club or party, go with them to the bar to order it, watch it being poured, and carry it yourself.
  4. Watch out for your friends, and vice versa. Always leave the party or bar together. If a friend seems out of it, is way too drunk for the amount of liquor she’s had, or is acting out of character, get her to a safety place immediately.
  5. If you think you or a friend has been drugged, call 911, and be explicit with doctors so they’ll give you the right tests (you’ll need a urine test and possibly others). The National Sexual Assault Hotline (800-656-HOPE) can often send an advocate to the hospital to help you through the whole process.

Lastly, if you are in the military and you want safe and confidential service from a non-governmental organization created by one of our own (free of worrying about whether or not your Chain of Command is going to find out), please contact us at www.stopmilitaryrape.org. We will support you and help you navigate the military sexual assault services available to you.