If it hasn’t become abundantly clear yet, let me make it clear now. Being targeted and stalked by cyberbullies on the internet is a nightmare. And it impacts PTSD from military sexual trauma significantly. It was hard enough to come forward to begin with and it is my intent that we can remedy this situation so that other advocates can replace me without fear of getting cyberbullied. I want justice for the troops so I am going to stick it out until we get it. In the meantime, I was never expecting the very people that I supported implicitly regardless of who they were would be the very people who would plan my demise in the end. It is the epitome of betrayal. And quite frankly, something I am pretty used to by now.
I seriously thought that the military would be something bigger then me and more honorable then me. I never took into consideration the human element that must always be accounted for: how to deal with those in positions of ‘power’ and/or ‘influence’ who prey on others. Whether it occurs in person while in uniform or on-line from ‘fellow’ veterans, it is not okay to intentionally harm them with aggressive stalking behavior similar to that of our attackers. It is in fact a violation of personal boundaries even if technically not illegal because it is occurring on-line. But in this case, we are definitely at the legal stage.
I will take a stand to help my PTSD. No matter how hard I try to just ignore, it is virtually impossible not to be triggered by a group of bullies disguised as survivors who purposefully are trying to trigger the PTSD. Guess what? It’s working, no doubt about it. Writing is my only refuge while going through this abuse to document your behavior. I have been literally going insane collecting evidence in a professional manner. I have kept quiet up until now and will not be silenced any more. The silence just like in the military is killing me. If I was anyone but Jennifer Norris, that person may be dead right now. Who wouldn’t be suicidal when we have our own PTSD to contend with, our families, our pasts, our efforts in a new arena like MST Advocacy, and healing in general?
The funny thing about PTSD therapy and help is that you have to face it head on to deal with it. You have to face all the things that you stuffed down for years. Like most we stuff this down in order to operate in a robotic fashion for the military. But eventually the floodgates open (average is 14 years). And that my friend is the very definition of PTSD. We had to be too strong for too long. As a veteran, I am going to face the demons head on. I am going to look PTSD in the face and punch its lights out. I am not going to allow the triggers that you are currently causing to control my life any longer.
You are indeed not helping any of us who are trying to advocate for the troops and veterans while simultaneously taking good care of ourselves. I should be able to go on Facebook without being scared that I will see yet another untruth about me on-line while browsing or someone just randomly attacks me then uses PTSD as an excuse. It is totally triggering to be targeted and even more so if the person goes way out of their way to do it. That is exactly what the predators in the military did!
If I had done anything in the least bit to you I might understand some retaliation but in this particular case, I haven’t done or said anything to you. I am just a veteran who simply wants to help others. I don’t want money. I don’t want fame. I want change. Nothing you say or do is ever going to stop me from doing what God wants me to do. This is a calling that even I am fearful of and you are not making it any easier. Do not do this to me or to other advocates ever again. And please do not blame THIS on PTSD. I have PTSD too but I would never harm others the way you have. Ever.
PS Rule #1 if you want to be a MST Advocate, Do NOT share a military sexual trauma survivor’s physical address. And definitely do NOT post it on-line. Remember those same military predators may be looking for us through media hounds like you.